Temptation
by PiskyBoo
Summary: My first fic. *YAOI* Sq/Z Se/Z Temptation is similar to Truth or Dare...cliche, but hey- it's worth reading. (Hopefully XD)
1. Default Chapter

Good evening, all. This is my first fic so…give me a chance.  
  
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing to do with Final Fantasy and/or Mystikal. T_T  
  
Enjoy! ~{PiskyBoo}~  
  
~*~  
  
It was yet another boring, monotonous night at Balamb Garden.  
  
Selphie needed an idea.  
  
She sat alone in her dorm room, contemplating a way to somehow get the men naked without much effort. Irvine would strip at the drop of a (cowboy) hat, but what about the other three…? They were going to be a little more difficult, but, decided Selphie, all worth the effort. Irvine was sooo boring after a few weeks…and the gun was a constant irritation.  
  
After flipping through a few issues of Playgirl, Selphie found what she was looking for. The idea struck her in the face and formed a light bulb above her head. She skipped out of her room, giggling evilly with horns forming from her hair and a tail extending behind her.  
  
~*~  
  
It was Zell who was disturbed first.  
  
Selphie burst in on him reading the very same Playgirls that Selphie kept on her shelf while jerking off. Zell at once threw the magazine across the room and yanked his nut-huggers up.  
  
"Zell wears nut-huggers!" Selphie squealed in delight, totally ignoring what Zell had been doing three seconds ago.  
  
Zell turned the color of his sneakers-red, not black- and wiped his hands off on his nut-huggers.  
  
"Missing something…?" Selphie teased, Zell's pants in her hand. Before Zell could even jump up to snatch them back, she was out the door and running at top speed down the hall. Zell had no choice but to run after her- he had no other pants to wear.  
  
~*~  
  
Despite the fact that she was tired of him, Selphie smashed her fist on Irvine's dorm door. To her surprise, Irvine had been directly behind the door, and when he opened it, got a fist in the face.  
  
Irvine didn't say anything, he just wailed one long wail and then broke down into ridiculous baby tears. Selphie whipped the hat off his head and hightailed it outta there before Irvine even came to his senses.  
  
When he did, he immediately felt naked. Upon realizing that no, he really wasn't naked, he patted his head and discovered his beloved hat was missing.  
  
Selphie! He thought, breaking into a sprint. He knew she'd only go back to her room.  
  
~*~  
  
Squall was asleep.  
  
It was 7:46.  
  
Selphie rolled her eyes and sighed. No wonder the kid was so unpopular! Who the hell went to bed at 7:46…on a Saturday?  
  
She rummaged through the mini-fridge that stood next to Squall's dresser. Inside were a dozen stuffed animals and Fruit Roll-ups, along with a bag of ice.  
  
Carefully Selphie brought the bag over to where Squall was laying on his back. She lifted up the edge of his pants and quickly dumped the ice down them. Then she zipped out of the room and down the hall. As she did so, she heard the ear-splitting squeal that Squall emitted after feeling the icy aftermath that Selphie had caused.  
  
~*~  
  
Selphie had run out of pranks to pull by the time she reached Seifer's room. So she pulled a hacksaw out of her back pocket and quietly sawed off one of the legs on Seifer's bed. Slamming the door behind her, she laughed loudly upon hearing both Seifer and bed crash to the floor.  
  
~*~  
  
Tired and sore from laughing, Selphie dragged herself back to her room.  
  
There sat Zell, Irvine, Squall, Quistis and Rinoa.  
  
"How did you two get here?" Selphie directed at the two girls.  
  
"We know you all too well, Selphie," said Quistis, "and we know that you've been deprived of sexual amusement and so Rinoa and I predicted that you'd come up with some plan to get the men naked."  
  
Selphie's jaw dropped.  
  
"Anyways, that's not important. What are you planning to do?" asked Rinoa.  
  
Selphie opened her mouth to explain and then the door burst open and Seifer came flying in, furiously swinging Hyperion around, rage in his eyes.  
  
"Where's that little bitch?!" He demanded, "I'll kill her!"  
  
Quistis got up and shoved her hand down Seifer's pants.  
  
"Calm down, or I'll have to punish you," she said coyly, and Seifer dropped Hyperion at once and sat down.  
  
"What the hell's going on?" Zell shouted.  
  
"Whatever," grunted Squall, who had pulled a Playgirl off Selphie's shelf and was staring at it.  
  
"Shit, man," Zell said, leaning over Squall's shoulder. "I guess the 'big hands/feet' thing is just a load of bullshit… for Seifer."  
  
Seifer snapped to attention.  
  
"What the hell do you mean by that?!"  
  
Everyone turned and looked at him, questioningly. Seifer turned red.  
  
"Don't mind me," he said, embarrassed.  
  
Selphie stamped her foot.  
  
"Attention, peoples!" she yelled. "I brought you all here for a very good reason!"  
  
"What?" chorused the group in unison.  
  
"We're going to play 'Temptation!'  
  
Everyone's face, except Selphie's, went white.  
  
~*~  
  
PiskyBoo: Hopefully I'll get the next chapter up soon…R/R please, so I'll know how I'm doing! ^_\^ ^/_^ 


	2. Zell

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Final Fantasy 8 or Mystikal.  
  
*I love Zell to death. I'm just unintentionally bashing him.  
  
  
  
No one knew what Temptation was.  
  
"I'll explain," said Selphie, evil ideas flying wildly through her head.  
  
"The objective of the game is to see how long someone can resist a tempting thing or situation under a whole shitload of pressure. There's no limit of what you can tell people to do- it just adds to the fun. And we take turns, like in Truth or Dare."  
  
Zell jumped up and stamped his foot.  
  
"I'll be damned if I have to take any order from Seifer!"  
  
"Shut up, Zell, you nut-hugger," snapped Quistis.  
  
Zell sputtered.  
  
"We know everything, Zell, so don't look at us like we've got five tits or something."  
  
Selphie picked up Hyperion and began flailing it around.  
  
"Order! Order!" she screamed.  
  
"Watch it, you insane psycho bitch! Hyperion is precious!" Seifer cried out, snatching the gunblade from Selphie and cradling it in his arms like a baby.  
  
"Fine!" snorted Selphie.  
  
Irvine spoke up for the first time.  
  
"Selphie, don'tcha think this is a little too bland? I mean, this shit doesn't even compare to what goes on when we're alone and in-"  
  
Selphie swung her foot out and nailed Irvine right in the nuts. He fainted at once. Squall suddenly came to life and began giving him CPR. Rinoa was not amused.  
  
"Get off him, Squall! I'm your one and only, so start showing it!"  
  
Squall pushed Rinoa to the floor and continued his attempts to bring Irvine back to life.  
  
Rinoa cried. Quistis whipped out a roll of duct tape and wound it around the other girl's head. Rinoa ceased her sobs but continued to moo in frustration.  
  
"Enough bullshit!" Selphie screeched out, in exasperation. "The game starts right now!"  
  
"Okay, I'm going first," said Seifer, evilly. "Zell!"  
  
Zell slammed his fist into the ground but didn't dare complain, knowing well what Selphie might do to him.  
  
"What?" he spat.  
  
Seifer rubbed his chin in thought, then whispered something in Quistis' ear. Quistis got up and to Zell's surprise, twisted his arms behind his back and slapped a pair of heavy-duty handcuffs on his wrists. Zell was left sitting on the floor in nothing but his nut-huggers.  
  
Quistis then pulled a Playgirl issue off the shelf and flipped through it until she found the centerfold of the month. Coincidentally, it was Seifer, done up in leather, spikes and holding Hyperion and a whip. He looked like he was ready to dish out some pain. She set it in front of Zell so Seifer couldn't see it.  
  
"Now!" grinned Seifer, totally unaware of what Zell was ogling at. "Let's see how long you're gonna last, Chicken-wuss, and let's throw in a couple other…temptations."  
  
Zell broke out into a cold sweat.  
  
1 Nononononono this can't be happening…  
  
But it was. And there was nothing Zell could do about the prominent boner he was developing.  
  
The group (including both Squall and Irvine, who were both fully awake and giving each other dirty looks) was focused on the spiky blonde who was trying his best to avert his eyes from the erotica that was two inches away from them.  
  
Squall became really horny all of the sudden and began gyrating against the floor.  
  
Zell was nearly in tears.  
  
The girls were in awe, eyes glittering with glee.  
  
Seifer looked smug.  
  
Irvine unconsciously sucked his finger, never looking away.  
  
Four and a half minutes had passed.  
  
Zell was in agony- and then he snapped. The handcuffs, of course.  
  
He grabbed ahold of himself and jerked off frantically, with almost a hint of relief in his face.  
  
On the opposite side of the room, Seifer's ears burned with embarrassment. He knew he liked it. God forbid if-  
  
SPLAT!  
  
Zell had good aim- he got it right in Seifer's eye.  
  
The girls squealed with laughter, rolling on the floor.  
  
Squall was still gyrating, but Irvine had since come to his senses and was smothering giggles.  
  
"Okay! That was great!" Selphie giggled.  
  
"Hey! Is that ME?!" Seifer exclaimed as he pounded Zell. He had noticed his picture in the open magazine. He snatched it up and blushed, shoving it inside his trenchcoat.  
  
"Squall, you can stop that now," Rinoa said, having since torn the tape off along with a layer of skin.  
  
But he didn't until Quistis slapped him several times.  
  
"It's Zell's turn!" shrieked Selphie.  
  
Zell contemplated.  
  
"Uhhh…Irvine, I guess," he muttered.  
  
"Hey! What about us girls?" Rinoa whined.  
  
"We're just the spectators," explained Selphie. "It's a lot funner that way."  
  
"Awwww! I wanna play, too!"  
  
Quistis growled in frustration.  
  
"Shut up, you stupid, whiny bitch!" she snapped. Rinoa immediately shut up, but didn't lose the kicked-dog look. "As you were saying, Zell?" 


	3. Irvine

Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 8 or anything by Mystikal/Usher  
  
  
  
What could possibly be done to Irvine?  
  
Hell, Zell couldn't think of anything. There was total silence in the room.  
  
WAIT!  
  
Someone was humming "I'm a Slave for You"!!  
  
Who could it be? Who could be such a total and complete loser to actually like the screeching, slutty siren?  
  
It was Irvine.  
  
Then again, it was sort of predictable. After all, he was a cowboy- and didn't that explain a lot of things?  
  
Zell knew Selphie had a huge collection of irritating CDs. He got up and got a chill (he's still in his nut-huggers, you know) and rummaged through the pile. It was nothing but pure shit- Christina Aguilera, Shakira, Enrique Inglesias, Jennifer Lopez, Spice Girls, and all 19 Backstreet Boys and Nsync albums. And there it was- the CD he was looking for.  
  
Britney stared at Zell with plastic eyes.  
  
Zell popped the CD into Selphie's stereo and turned the volume up as loud as possible.  
  
"Okay, everyone!" he said, and pressed Play.  
  
As the horrid music pealed from the stereo, the blood drained from Irvine's face. Zell had hit the nail right on the head. He'd uncovered his greatest weakness: he had a passion for sissy music.  
  
It was all too much for the cowboy, and within a few moments he was up and copying the very same moves that Britney slaughtered in her video. He even yanked his pants down so they were barely hanging onto his hips.  
  
Squall turned green.  
  
Seifer became entranced and pulled money out of his trenchcoat and crawled over the where Irvine was dancing and shoved it into the cowboy's pants.  
  
The girls were frozen with shock- but not Selphie. She had had no doubt in her mind that Irvine was a sissy boy.  
  
The latter was now sweating with effort and totally into the dance. When the music finally died, he hit Play again. Even Seifer couldn't put up with that- he raised Hyperion above his head and brought it down full force onto the stereo, causing it to explode.  
  
When the smoke finally cleared, Seifer was black with stuff. Everyone else was normal.  
  
"Look what you've done to my stereo, you insolent motherfucking bastard!" screamed Selphie. "I hate you!"  
  
"Oh, calm your hormones, you psycho bitch," Seifer grunted, trying his best to wipe of the black stuff. "You think you've got it bad-"  
  
Squall broke into song.  
  
"You got it, you got it bad- when you're on the phone  
  
Hang up and then you call right back  
  
You got it, you got it bad  
  
When you miss a day without your friend and your life's off track  
  
You know you got it bad when you stuck in the house  
  
You don't wanna have fun 'cause all you think about  
  
You got it bad when you're out with someone  
  
But you keep on thinkin' bout somebody else  
  
You got it bad!"  
  
Everyone applauded him. Squall bowed and then sat back down, expressionless.  
  
The funny thing was, he'd actually sounded a lot like Usher.  
  
Irvine wasn't dancing anymore. He just couldn't dance without Britney's help.  
  
"As I was saying," Seifer raised his voice, "I've got it worse than you cuz this black shit has totally spoiled my makeup!"  
  
Then Seifer realized what he'd just said, and clapped his hand over his mouth.  
  
But it was too late.  
  
The group was rolling with laughter. Seifer began to cry.  
  
Selphie recovered and stood up.  
  
"That was the shit!" she said. "Oki doki, Irvine, it's your turn now."  
  
"Fuck," said Irvine, who was terrible at coming up with ideas. He pulled his pants up to their normal resting level and chewed his thumbnail.  
  
Zell was turning blue with cold.  
  
"Fine, asshole!" Seifer growled, throwing his trenchcoat at Zell.  
  
Zell was very confused.  
  
Fifteen minutes passed with no response form Irvine. The girls were all asleep and Squall was drooling over a Playgirl and Zell was snuggled up with Seifer.  
  
Irvine's eyes lit up suddenly and the infamous lightbulb appeared over his head.  
  
"I've got it!" he shouted triumphantly.  
  
The girls woke up, Squall threw the Playgirl under the bed and Zell and Seifer scurried to opposite ends of the room.  
  
"Seifer."  
  
"Wait!" interrupted Quistis. "Squall hasn't had a turn yet."  
  
"Leave that one to me," Seifer said.  
  
This will be great, thought Irvine, the best of them all. 


	4. Seifer/Squall

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy or Mystikal's lyrics….T_T  
  
*I hate Rinoa.  
  
  
  
"Okay, Seifer! Stand up right where you are."  
  
Seifer stood, looking suspiciously at Irvine.  
  
"Do you think it's right to hit girls?"  
  
Seifer contemplated this for a moment before he replied, "No."  
  
Irvine smiled inwardly. "What went on with you and Rinoa, anyway?"  
  
Rinoa jumped up before Seifer had even opened his mouth.  
  
"Why the fuck does everyone ask us that?! God, it's nobody else's biz, so mind your own! And furthermore, it's not like anyhting really happened between us. I mean, Seifer was just to brash and he always tried to touch my tits in public and shove his tongue down my throat. Then he'd bring out Hyperion all the time- isn't that stupid, naming a weapon? I mean, I don't call my Frisbee™ thing anything. Only some fucked-up bastard who can't get anyhting would do that. And I always suspected he was gay, especially when he wanted to come to the malle strippers night at the bar. And then he just stole that Playgirl away from Zell and put it in- "  
  
Seifer swung his fist out and caught Rinoa right in the nose. She collapsed on the floor, dead. Everyone cheered, Squall being the loudest.  
  
"Was that it?" Seifer asked Irvine. The cowboy nodded, a little nervously.  
  
"Oh, my god," Seifer said, "that was THE most pathetic, stupid, dickwad coward assfuck retard shit-for-brains thing I've ever had to do. Even going to Dollet for that idiotic SeeD exam wasn't as fucked as that."  
  
Irvine's eyes filled with tears and he raced out of the room.  
  
"Sissy fag," the blonde spat.  
  
Everyone glared at him.  
  
"I mean, that silly fudgemonkey! Heh heh…"  
  
"You're certainly one to talk," Quistis said pointedly.  
  
Selphie jumped up and waved her arms around. "Never mind! It's not important. Let's just keep going."  
  
Seifer shot Squall a withering glare. Squall withered.  
  
Alrighty, then, thought Seifer, for he knew the perfect thing to do- not only would it reveal Squall's true personality, but it would also give himself a little scene to get off on.  
  
Without hesitation, Seifer whipped out a rope and grabbed a surprised Zell by the hair.  
  
"Bend over, Zell," he said.  
  
Zell's eyes widened, along with everyone else's. (Except Rinoa, who was lying on the floor, dead.)  
  
Seifer slapped his forehead. "No, you sick assholes!"  
  
Everyone gaped.  
  
"Argg, what the fuck's wrong with me?! I keep digging myself into a deeper hole! Fine, Chicken-wuss, you don't have to…not right now, anyway."  
  
Zell appeared to be relieved, but secretly he wanted whatever was coming to him.  
  
"Insane psycho bitch- I mean, Selphie, do you have another stereo?" Seifer asked.  
  
"I think I do, motherfucking bastard- I mean, Seifer! Let me go fetch it," Selphie replied sweetly.  
  
"I always thought Selphie was a dog," mused Seifer after she'd left.  
  
Zell was shaking with fear. "I refuse to dance! Dancing has been overdone!"  
  
"Too bad, dipshit. You're gonna doance for all of us- Squall, especially."  
  
Squall didn't respond, which was normal, but only because he was trying on one of Selphie's many yellow jumpers. Oddly enough, it fit him. Seifer only shook his head.  
  
"I'm back!" Selphie screeched, holding a giant stereo in her hand.  
  
"Damn," muttered Zell. Selphie heard him and wsa about to smash his nuts when Seifer grabbed her leg.  
  
"Don't!" he cried, "If you do that, it'll spoil everything!"  
  
Selphie held her hands up. "Okay, okay! Would you calm your hormones?!"  
  
"No, I would not!" Seifer whined.  
  
"Shut the fuck up!" Quistis yelled.  
  
"How do you shut a fuck?" Squall wondered aloud.  
  
Selphie plugged the stereo. She held up Mystikal's "Let's Get Ready". "Is this the one you wanted, motherfucking bastard?" she asked Seifer. He nodded.  
  
She popped the CD into the stereo and turned the volume up.  
  
"Dance, Pool Boy- I mean, Zell!" Seifer called. "And pay attention, Squall!"  
  
Squall stopped trying on the dresses.  
  
And then he broke out into song- well, he sang along:  
  
"Shake ya ass!  
  
But watch yourself!  
  
Shake ya ass!  
  
Show me what you're workin' with!  
  
Shake ya ass!  
  
But watch yourself!  
  
Shake ya ass!  
  
I came here with my dick in my hand (demonstrates)  
  
Don't make me leave here with my foot in yo ass, be cool!  
  
And don't worry bout how I'm rippin' this shit,  
  
When I'm flippin', when I'm dickin' nigga, this just what I do!  
  
I'm effervescent and I'm off that crescent nastier than a full-grown German shepard  
  
Motherfucker, keep steppin'  
  
They won't fuck with me, and they don't  
  
Yall bitches can't catch me, and you won't  
  
Tell ya self, bitch ass throw that pussy  
  
I'm proud of my poo nanny (?) and a dollar for my booty  
  
You think I'm trippin' bitch, I ain't trippin'  
  
I'm buying if you got nice curves for your iceberg  
  
Drinking here acting like it's gonna do something to me  
  
Hope this indecent proposal will make ya do somthin' with me  
  
Fuck a dollar, girl, pick up fifty  
  
And fuck that coward, girl, you need a real nigga!  
  
Off top a nigga bout hurtin' shit  
  
Bend over, ho, show me what you're workin' with!"  
  
Needless to say, everyone was amazed at how Squall knew the lyrics. But what was even more shocking was the fact that Zell could actually dance to the rhyme.  
  
And there he was, shaking, gyrating and rubbing his ass up against Squall just like in the video. Squall was horribly aroused.  
  
"Okay, now for the best part!" Seifer announced, bringing out the rope again and grabbing Zell's wrists.  
  
He tied and knotted the rope around Zell's wrists and then attached it to his ankles, making the blonde boy bend over so sharply it did a number on his nuts, all in one quick motion.  
  
Squall froze.  
  
There was Zell, this lucious piece of ass, wearing nut-huggers- white ones, no less- in the perfect position, right in front of him.  
  
There were two angels sitting on Squall's shoulders, one good and the other bad.  
  
Before the white one even got to open its mouth, Squall had picked it up and thrown it across the room. He did the same to the devil angel (_) and yanked Zell's nut-huggers down, along with his own pants, and started going at him like an animal.  
  
Quistis and Selphie stared at the two in horror.  
  
Seifer was also staring at them, but drool was coming out of his mouth and he had a huge boner.  
  
Fifteen minutes later, Zell had blown his load (hitting Seifer in the eye for the second time) and Squall had collapsed with exhaustion on the floor.  
  
"Oh, god," whispered Selphie, "I…never…figured…"  
  
"Silly girl!" Quistis scolded. "It should've been obvious from the start!"  
  
Seifer was in a dead faint.  
  
Quistis slapped him and he jumped up with a start.  
  
Zell was lying on the floor, sheer ecstasy on his face.  
  
"I think that we ought to wrap this all up," Selphie sighed.  
  
"Okay, then," Quistis agreed, "what's gonna be next?"  
  
PiskyBoo: Yes, what IS gonna be next? Stay tuned, kids! 


	5. Fin

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 8. Oh, but how I wish…  
  
*I hate Irvine, too.  
  
  
  
"Perhaps," said Selphie, "we should have a 'final round' of sorts…?"  
  
"Sounds good to me," said Zell.  
  
"Me too!" chorused Seifer and Squall.  
  
Quistis grinned.  
  
"But what are we gonna do? I mean, most of the best things, excluding Irvine's, have been done already." Selphie put in.  
  
Seifer considered this. Once again, the infamous light bulb popped up over his head.  
  
"I've got it! Let's put on a strip show!"  
  
"No point in that," Zell put in, "we already know what everyone looks like naked."  
  
"Yeah…I guess that's right."  
  
"Besides," added Squall, "I don't think it would be smart for Seifer to do that- we'd ridicule him out of Garden!"  
  
Seifer picked up Hyperion and slashed it dangerously close to Squall's head.  
  
Squall didn't even move a muscle. "Just because there's a six-inch difference doesn't mean you can try to give me another love scar."  
  
Seifer let out a wail of embarrassment and slumped to the floor. Zell rushed over to console him, but as he did so, was pulled under the trenchcoat and disappeared into the black void.  
  
Squall giggled stupidly.  
  
Irvine suddenly burst through the door, clothes torn to shreds.  
  
"I…finally…escaped…!" he panted, collapsing to the floor.  
  
Everyone's eyes were suddenly on him.  
  
Zell popped out of the trenchcoat and wiped his mouth off.  
  
"Where the fuck did you go, sissy cowboy?" he asked.  
  
"Headmaster…Cid…he…tried to…make me go…to his…office."  
  
"Hell, I go there all the time!" Squall said while applying cherry -flavored lipsmacker.  
  
Irvine stared at him in horror before falling to the floor, dead.  
  
"What the fuck's HIS problem?" Squall said.  
  
"I guess he saw the OTHER side of Cid…the one that he uses on Dr. Kadowaki," Quistis guessed.  
  
Everyone shuddered.  
  
Zell disappeared under the trenchcoat again. Quistis reached in and tried to pull him out, but instead grabbed onto something else…hard enough to make Seifer let out a cheerleader squeal. Quistis retrieved Zell.  
  
"Now, then, let's go back to brainstorming," she said.  
  
Selphie appeared stumped, as did everyone else.  
  
"Why don't we just all go to bed?" she suggested.  
  
"With each other?" Squall asked.  
  
"I guess," Selphie said, "I have to get up early for the Garden Festival."  
  
Seifer brushed off his pants. "Well, that's no loss," he said.  
  
Selphie turned red.  
  
"When the fuck is that stupid shit festival gonna be finished, anyway?" Zell said.  
  
"As soon as I get there tomorrow, it'll be all complete and ready to show in the afternoon," she replied.  
  
"HUH?" said everyone.  
  
"My contribution will be the best of them all!" Selphie grinned.  
  
"And that would be because…?" Quistis said.  
  
"I got this entire thing on tape!"  
  
  
  
~FIN  
  
PiskyBoo: Well, that wraps Temptation up. Please R/R and let me know how I did! 


End file.
